#squiddo's headcanons

[squiddokiddo]

- Squiddo's Coffee Order Headcanons -

Scott: Straight up just 3 shots of espresso with sugar. He NEEDS the caffeine but is also fond of the strong flavour. In warmer weather he gets a cold brew with some vanilla foam.

Virgil: Loves a good latte or cappuccino, something soft, warm and comforting with alllll the extras, whip cream, syrup, chocolate sprinkles ect ect. He loves a good cup of coffee but it can't be just from anywhere, the taste of the beans really matters to him.

Alan: Doesn't really like the bitterness but he developed a taste for frappucinos and mochas when studying for his finals. They've got to have a shit ton of whip cream and syrup to cover the bitter taste.

Gordon: Tends to only get coffee in social situations or when he is absolutely exhausted. Will literally take any style of coffee, usually goes for something sweet, and doesn't like the brew to be too strong. Loves all the different varieties of syrups though, his favourites are hazelnut and (of course) butterscotch.

John: Likes espresso shots, lattes and flat whites. Like Virgil he's quite particular about his coffee and will only go to specific coffee shops and only tends to get coffee if he's doing uni lectures or writing up papers. Absolutely does not like his coffee cold, it's a bad texture to him.

Kayo: Cold brew. Just ice, water & coffee. No flavours, except when it's pumpkin spice season. Also likes iced matcha.

Grandma: Not a fan of coffee, prefers tea instead but likes the smell because it reminds her of her late husband who used to brew his own coffee at home.

Brains: Drinks coffee because he hates energy drinks, too sweet. He takes his coffee however it comes as long as it doesn't taste like burnt ditch water. He much prefers matcha though.

Penny: Can't stand the stuff, absolutely can't stand it. She much prefers a good ol' traditional cup of tea.

Parker: Used to drink coffee in his army days, refuses to drink it now because "Nothing can beat the proper stuff".

[skele-was-hired]

May I interest the Lifesteal fandom in a Lifesteal polycule chart

At some point, I gave up on trying to fit everyone on Lifesteal into this chart, so this is the best you're going to get from me now.

I also gave up on only having someone once, which is why Branzy, Mane, and Mapicc all show up twice.

Some relationship I would have added if I had the room was Zam and Flame, Dean and Parrot, Boosfer and Minute, Pentar and Flame, and a lot more.

You can probably see where my struggle truly started. (It was Clown, fuck you jesterpenetrate).

[lifesteal-headcanons]

Squiddo is Clown’s sleep paralysis demon.

.

[theautumnaldemon]

SQUIDDO HEADCANON DESIGN! She’s an alien!

[unstableverse-headcanons]

what items i think some uu people would hold if they were an active invis mafia member ;

kenadian - loyalty trident

wato - either something functional or a dirt block

theobald - an enchanted bow or crossbow

wemmbu - the first random item he finds in his inventory

parrot - the spyglass or luigi's emerald (if he doesn't have the former)

wifies - random, similar to wemm- anything correlating to parrot stays safe in his e-chest

squiddo - lead tied to garlic hamster

These fit so well!

[defectiveender]

People (2,,,) asked for more on the squiddo hair thingy so :3

I’m making this stuff up as I go 🙏🙏

Picture in the background is the first time I came up with the idea

[leafatlaw]

it fucking sucks being hyperfixated on something, but not knowing everything about it

[squidsavior-m]

I like to think Naomi is in denial of what her doing in her campaign would be considered. Considering at the time she was more or less a simple teenager. Trying to get herself together after witnessing the death of god awful friend who was just using her for fame.

As Gourdo/Goldie never really cared about her the moment he walked into Inkopolis. As it changed him.

And because of his death is what pushed her to what was a route of revenge. Turned into something that she believed she wanted to do something right.

But as she has gotten older, she has been given more time to think. And with her kraken ability now morphed into her system.

It makes her wonder.

Maybe she was a monster from the beginning.

[transmcytshowdown]

MythicalSausage:

Submitted for: Empires SMP Season 1, Empires SMP Season 2, New Life SMP, Afterlife SMP, Pirates SMP, SOS SMP

Headcanons: Genderfluid, he/she/they

Propaganda: Confirmed that his Fantasy SMP character was transmasc (https://youtu.be/vURh7IuDMF4)

“[In Empires], HE WEARS DRESSES AND MAKEUP CANONICALLY FOR SPECIAL OCCASIONS AND JUST LIKES BEING IN DRESSES, THIS WAS MADE CANON BY THE COMMUNITY BECAUSE OF THE SUNFLOWER DRESS [draw this in your style]. HE LOVED EVERY SINGLE ART PIECE [so much] THAT IT WAS MADE CANON IN THE TEA PARTY, THAT DRESS WAS HIS OLD DRESS FROM THE OLD KINGDOM WHERE THEY HAVE A FESTIVAL TO CELEBRATE SANTA PEARLA. HIS EMPIRES SMP CHARACTER’S MOST POPULAR HEADCANON FOR HIM IS THAT HE’S GENDERFLUID AND ON A STREAM HE SAID HE LIKES IT, [the submitter] know[s] this BECAUSE [they] ASKED IT.”

“[The submitter] made the sunflower dress skin dammit, [they] KNOW THAT MAN IS A WOMAN (sometimes) /silly.”

“His fantasy smp character was canonically transmasc. He (c) frequently wears dresses and says [he] paints his nails.”

“FUCK I WISH I HAVE THE CLIP BUT YES HE [said that he] USED TO HAVE BLOND HAIR AND NO BEARD IN FANTASY [SMP] BUT HE SAID [that he doesn’t] LIKE THE WAY [he looked] SO HE USED A POTION (it’s testosterone) SO HE CAN LOOK MORE MANLY [and] WE ASKED IN CHAT ‘IS THAT BASICALLY TRANSMASC’ AND HE SAID YEA.”

Squiddo:

Submitted for: Lifesteal SMP

Headcanons: Identity not specified, they/it/she/none/any/squiddo

Propaganda: “She's canonically every gender ever but would also get scared and cry if you tried to explain what gender is to them (both confirmed by The Real Squiddo).”

“She's Shrodingers gender.”

[therealsquiddo]

All squiddo gender headcanons are true

[desired-deity]

Lifesteal Headcanons!!!

a/n : so, I’ve gotten into Lifesteal if u all can’t tell, just got my hoodie today too! Wanna start asking for anything Lifesteal I’m totally up for it but if they do have boundaries to NOT request it. I’m not sure abt boundaries for any Lifesteal member so please don’t use that to ur advantage 😭 Anygays, I hope u all injoy 🤍 glad to be back

Mapicc, MinuteTech, and Jepexx are all demons. Mapicc and Jepexx are very warm while Minute is freezing

Flame, even though he’s called the Immortal DEMON I like to believe that he’s a blaze and loves the Nether

Jumper is 100% a hare, you cannot and will not change my mind. After all, in season 5, she had 1+ million jumps

Little lion boy, Mane, believes someone like him has no remorse for anyone or any humanity left in him but that gets thrown down the drain after Minute and Kab talk him out of that

I feel like Hannah has hanahaki but like- a non-deadly version of it? Idk if that one makes sense but just go along with it ig lol

Kab and Spoke has a strangely good sense of time while Ashswagg does not and relies on others, such as Squiddo to keep track of time

Flame and Clown don’t really go for the kill for a heart anymore, they really only do it for the adrenaline rush now. Mane is kinda the same but he just kinda picks and chooses his fights wisely

Planet is such an airhead that Spoke has to always be around so nothing stupid happens. Planet really only like- locks in when PvP is present

Subz can sleep everywhere but also hates sleeping because he always has that gut feeling someone is after him

Okay so actually I now headcanons Mapicc as a werewolf/dog hybrid because of all the fanart and ls!devotion duo

I’ve got this weird feeling Ro has the anatomy of a biblically accurate angel with tons of hands but only 3 main ones (idk if I cooked w this 1 or not)

Chief DESPISES candy that’s super sweet. He likes stuff such as clover and licorice

Ash’s glitches get so bad to the point to where he can pass out, it’s happened before right in from of The Empire and he face planted. Of course, he was fine though

When Kab gets really excited, she uncontrollably jumps up and down

Redd is a little liar but refuses to lie to Subz (idk if this is true or not bc I actually don’t watch red that much)

Clown refuses to kill Kab because of the stuff she’s had to go through, especially when he found out she got down to 7 hearts. He also looks out for her any way he can at all times

[squiddokiddo]

Happy pride!!

Now time for some personal headcanons:

🪽 Scott - He/Him - Straight Ally

The only straight Tracy brother, he supports his siblings 100%. Scott eats queerphobes for breakfast.

🎨 Virgil - He/they - Demiromantic Asexual

Virgil's true love is his art and thunderbird 2, he has however fallen for a couple of close friends in the past but as of present he isn't looking for a relationship

🚀 Alan - He/Him - Bisexual

Alan always knew he liked girls but he only figured out that he also liked boys after getting a crush on one of his classmates at school. He later wrote his crush a valentine's.

🫧 Gordon - He/They - Panromantic Asexual

Gords is a hopeless romantic, he catches feelings for people quite easily and expresses his love quite openly. He first discovered his panromanticism and later found out he was ace.

🪐 John - He/Him - Questioning and Unlabeled

John doesn't like to label his sexuality but is also unsure of his attraction. He's also not particularly interested in relationships but believes that maybe someone will capture his heart one day.

⚔️ Kayo - She/Her - Lesbian

Kayo always knew she wasn't interested in men, she felt self conscious because "girls were supposed to like boys". She later started crushing on a girl she met in secondary school and had a sudden gay realisation.

☀️ EOS - She/They - Demigirl

After befriending john, Eos didn't have to think solely about survival anymore and now had time to explore humanity and all it's concepts.

After a long journey of self discovery she found out that they were a demigirl.

⚙️ Brains - He/Him - Gay

Brains had been in the closet a long time and had tried to hide his sexuality from the world, he forced himself to date women but it always made him miserable. After meeting the Tracy family, it took him several years of watching the others come out one by one and all supporting eachother, that he found the courage to come out himself.

🍪 Grandma - She/Her - Polyamorous Bisexual

As a young woman Grandma used to hang around a lot of gay bars and had several relationships before meeting her husband. Right now grandma isn't focused on finding any relationships as she's more occupied by her role in IR.

🌸 Lady Penelope - She/Her - Questioning

Penny isn't sure of her orientation, she's quite private about personal things like dating so she's working it out by herself.

🔓 Parker - He/Him - Straight Ally

Parker has never had any doubt about his sexuality, he has however worked with a lot of queer individuals during his "misspent youth" where he learnt all sorts of things about different identities.

I also just want to say that even though these are my headcanons I'm also open to everyone else's too.❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[derww]

have you ever read a fanfic where authors self-insert travels into some story and fixes the life of a sad and pathetic wet cat character? | some thoughts about several new members being lifesteal watchers before joining.

one thing ive been thinking alot lately. before s5 we didn't really have a moment of "oh, this new member has been watching lifesteal before joining". and even in s5, its almost like this is not that important because here we have, to a much greater extent, people whose metagame-luggage is in the fact that they knew lifestealers. as 4c having his friendship and silly feuds with mid, and jumper being really close vi's friend, and pentar being jumper's friend, and squiddo knowing ash for ages, and wemmbu being friends with zam&minute for like an eternity. even jepexx with all his ive literally founded this server, hes an irl friends with mapicc and poafa, I literally remember one time when he came in the middle of the lore and mapicc had to bribe poafa to distract him. and it is a really cool and interesting theme as its own, a great foundation for the different headcanons and aus and using it as a part of the dynamics, but nothing of what we've been searching, yeah?

wrong. minutetech. minutetech who was clowns fan and literally created a team clown would want to be – his actual character's basis has watching lifesteal in it, and his weird attitude towards clown drags on throughout the season, ending with his death. but hey, it's been more than that, not just watching videos, he was watching streams, he was a visitor in the zams chat. and watching streams, even in fragments, is a completely different level in regard to just watching videos. and it is obvious by how he speaks about zam and how he is inspired by past him, and how he remembers some specific parts. minutetech is the fanboy on the server, im sorry, and i love him for it. he wasnt a frequent visitor, but he was able to open the curtain and be impressed, and that's cool.

moving away from the relatively linear rookie roster of the season 5, the season 6 one if a fucking rolecoaster. okay, okay, lets start with something easier. hannah defo didnt get the memo, zero idea about sb but i think he watched atleast clown, e doesnt seem to really care, his thing is the reverse, his connection to bliss and how they showed themselves as both touching and deadly family, threatening pentar with knives in case he did not protect their boy, and chief does it s5-style, being friends with minute. its really hard to consider flame, he defo watched atleast part of the things, and he is friends with pentajumper, and he refers to the past seasons but misses out a lot and doesnt seem to have a consistent understanding of a context. 

okay. manepear. his case is kinda close with minute's in a part that he actually was a big lifesteal and esp clown's fan. never saw that one fanart he drew for zam but really would like to. lifesteal was an important thing for him much before he actually joined, and i can see him having good ground knowledge of video-part of the server, albeit easily missing something really important. hes also friends with pentajumper and had his clown rivalry story on bizzare just before lifesteal, giving him an interesting starting point and explaining why he did betray his idol of the past so easily. making him vodwatch s4 eclipse would make him better in lifestealing i promise. he just needs to find a balance.

to the main course. lets speak about kab first. this is a part where shit gets actually interesting since. you know...

("Powerless", 03/29/23)

oh, hi, Derapchu.

(literally the betrayal stream 03/28/23)

wait, lets make a pause. look, its Fl4pp0!

(also the betrayal stream)

the one who made new lifesteal stickers! wow! absolutely nothing interesting about them aside from thi-

okay. let's digress from the topic for a bit – it will make sense later, I promise. you know showtime smp? its fine if you dont.

the important part you should know is that showtime aknowledges stream viewers as an important part of a plot. they are called the audience, and how interested they are in a particular character is directly responsible for their well-being. most of the characters know that they are being watched, and some even hear the voices of the audience, and sometimes they are even asked questions, the answers to which can have a real impact on what is happening. and here is mika flappo. yes, this flappo, from the chat. (fun fact, there was also atleast two other showtime members lol)

firstly he is just a really cool fanarter in the showtime fandom, and she enjoys the streams and the plot as we all do, and then it... then they are just HERE.

just imagine. you live your very fucking hard and terrible life, having to deal with all sorts of shit and somehow not lose your head, and you hide so, so fucking much from everyone, because they can't know, because it's so scary and dangerous. and then you meet someone for the first time, and the first fucking thing they say to you is "oh, its YOU". and they do know what you did.

they were a part of the audience because mika has been literally watching the streams all this time. and yeah, she doesnt know everything, only the parts gods chose to show to the viewers, and they actually watched live, but its still sooo fucking much. and now an absolute stranger is walking around the server, and they know your worst secrets and impute you for your sins. luckily, mika can't spoil things, so its not like he can actually tell anyone, but her existence by itself is still pretty fucking terrifying.

luckily, both kab and derap are not just some strangers, but also they don't have to keep their mouths shut. they know what only the audience knows, and for them it becomes an important part of their understanding of the world and zam, something that they can use to their advantage. and they do.

kab heavily relies on a feeling of understanding and knowing better, and sometimes for me it feels like shes trying to do it even speaking about zam's feelings. at some point shes been heavily relying on pitying him as a way to show that she understands, and she's sorry, and she knows what exactly zam has to change to be better. its like... being the chatter who always backseats, but now you are actually here. absolutely no neg to kab, obviously.

its actually interesting how kab simultaneously sees and knows (or thinks she knows) so many zams weak spots and problems and traumas and calls him broken and harming himself and almost as if unable to make the right decisions for himself, and at the same time she puts him on a pedestal, perceiving him as a hero, as someone who should adhere to the correct perception and reflect her idea of a good person and teammate. and... it makes sense as a way of wanting to help your favorite anime character to become better without actually understanding either them or their beliefs and wishes and just trying to recreate the picture from my head of how things have to be, depriving a character of personality and autonomy in the process. even her expecting him to help her with the karmas law – she thinks that this idea is objectively right, so obviously white knight (lol) princezam has to get it.

people really liked her asking if she reminds him of someone he once was. i really do not. because sure, shes right at the ground lvl, but she doesnt get it. shes not s5, shes s4. she is vi and zam at the same time, and it makes my head hurt. "not everything is about you, zam", but she does make everything about him, really. i wonder if he was her favorite character.

i like that sometimes she acknowledges that she doesnt actually know better than anyone else. that she is just scared because her methods doesnt work anymore. but she speaks the opposite so often that sometimes i just dont know what she really thinks. with her strange division into lore and non-lore, with how much kab lies to people and lies to herself, she remains frustrating. sometimes I have a feeling that she plays a completely different character than the one she ends up being, and hey, that's part of the server.

some of it can be said about derapchu, and its easy to say that hes better than kab, but i dont really think so. hes less pushy about it, surely, but he also thinks he knows how itd be better for zam and intends to make him change in a way he deems correct. sure, he doesnt idolize or pity him, but he still wants to fix zam.

its not that easy as just dividing things on yours and servers because zam has a connection to it, and the server's well-being is directly connected to his. with enough mental gymnastics, even the desire to repair the spawn can be called at least partially selfish since zam does it for himself too, since he loves things being pretty and cool. speaking of the server as a whole, it is difficult to draw a line between where he does something for himself and where he does something only for others with just how conditional the common good is and how important the server itself is to him, just alive, just working, just being played. he wanted to make everyone give a shit and never fully left this modus.

and in a sense, derapchu fails. as gapples being for the fights against mane, or considering that zam perceives the hearts in a similar way as he does (and he really isnt, our guy was giving out the hearts left and right, really, and he knows derap enough to be sure he wouldnt do anything malicious), or seemingly never noticing that zam, despite being mostly truthful during the whole dialogue, never actually opened up to him. maybe his common experience and zam trusting him makes him feel like it is enough, but its barely a half. he said sorry for being too pushy today tho. and helped zam just because. it was good. sadly its not enough to understand that he cant just choose whats better for the other person.

you know, i really like to think about having all this background of being a lifesteal watcher from the point of the full-blown lore, without pulling out the card that the characters are also streamers or youtubers. this is a part that requires an individual approach: for example, i have drafts where boomie and kab, as centrals, contact their lifesteal friends directly through hacked communicators. or, for example, clown is known because the coolness of his conquests spread into legends, caught everyone's eye, and became worldwide news. in general, you can just come up with a connection between the worlds, like fidonet, or even a more modern Internet, and this will make everything much better. or you can follow the showtime trail and give each character an audience – similar to just making them streamers, but that's the twist that makes just enough of a difference. and, in the end, people can just be friends, meet in their free time, and tell stories. both derapchu and kab were zams friends long before joining the server, and this is something that should not be forgotten either. they, unlike the rest of us, have a real context. and, like, wow.

overall: these aussies gotta understand that zam is not their pet project and that he doesnt need to be fixed. some help here and there wouldnt be bad, sure, but they cant just choose whats right for him and whats not. he is, in this context, his own person and not just a book character and he needs a friend, but not saviour nor doctor nor manipulator nor mechanic. just a friend.

[lifesteal-headcanons]

whenever clown and kab are interacting or even just near each other they both gain toonforce. this makes them very annoying to fight against at the same time and overall very confusing to be around

squiddo always has toonforce and can grant it to other people, she mostly does this to ash but sometimes to kab (i'm ignoring recent lore okay)

-🌊anon

.

[dontrunfrommy]

Lifesteal headcanons!

Squiddo and Herobrine are siblings.

Mane and Flame are cousins. They found this out randomly at 3am.

Chief has a sister.

Wemmbu and Zam are siblings. They like to annoy each other a lot. Wemmbu is older.

Planet and Spoke were raised in a lab. Squiddo was one of the workers there.

Ash and Red like to pretend to be a couple during valentines Day to get discounts at restaurants. This has caused them to buy each other gifts and flowers even if they aren't going anywhere on the week of valentines.

Everyone says that Mapicc doesn't bite. He does.

Red, Mane, Flame, and Mapicc are cannibals. This is due to them being demons. Spep is also a cannibal but he tries to keep it to a minimum.

[unstableverse-headcanons]

I think Squiddo should join and just never have any angst ever. Like everyone else is going through it and she's just there like 'damn. anyway wanna do a triple neo with me'

You're so right, I miss UU Squiddo